WHY WOMEN FAKE IT
When Maii first approached me about becoming a columnist for her blog, I was ecstatic and the first thing I proposed was a couple of topics on sex. Don't get me wrong, I love this blog and where she wants to take it BUT...why have a blog aimed at empowering women if you're going to limit how you empower them?
Despite her warnings that it's readers would be reluctant to read such articles due to her culture, I told her that it was worth the try. I wanted to start off with a controversial topic but she threatened to delete my post so I chose something subtle, "why women fake it in the bedroom".
Tale as old as time, we've heard that women fake orgasm's and this and that, but why? I read an article on Cosmopolitan about why women fake it and it was okay? It didn't really explain anything and I found it to be PG13 and extremely sugarcoated. I on the other hand, is going all in and leaving nothing out.
While there's no one reason as to why women fake it, I hope you brought your theoretical notebooks to learn a thing or two as I list a few reasons based on my personal experiences and some shared by friends of mine.
1) YOU KEEP ASKING IF SHE'S CUM YET
Dear men, stop it! Asking a woman if she's cum yet twenty-four hundred times will not make her cum. Hearing that sentence makes my vagina dry up. Infact, if I had a dollar for every time I got asked "have you cum yet?", I'd use that money to have my hair completely shaved off because pulling it out would be painful.
I remember having a conversation over coffee with one of my friends and she was frustrated because the man she was seeing would ask her that question every single time they had sex. The question is equivalent to a guy trying to keep it hard when he's drunk or high, it's too much pressure. Imagine if everytime before sex your partner asked you "are you hard yet""are you hard yet", that would drive you insane right? Absolute torture.
I asked her if she explained that women not cumming is not always a sign of bad sex, sometimes women have a hard time getting there. In a frustrated voice, she told me that she did once and he took this as a challenge to make her cum to the point of leaving her dry, un-amused and with a sore vagina.
2) YOU SKIPPED FOREPLAY
Skipping foreplay should be illegal. It's like trying to light a match using a matchbox and not actually swiping the match against the matchbox. Does that make sense to you? That's equivalent to skipping foreplay. Most women don't magically get wet from seeing your dick, it just doesn't work that way. And no sir, sticking your dick inside me without foreplay won't make me wet but it will piss me off.
Female genitalia is four times more sensitive than males and most of the nerve connections are on the clitoris, therefore the most important part of sex for us is foreplay. We need a little bit of kissing, boob and clit action you know. Simply put, you need to build your house before you move in.
3) YOU TREAT SEX LIKE A PORNO
Ugghh this one irks my soul thinking about it. Men, repeat after me PORN DOES NOT EQUAL REAL LIFE and it never will. Stop trying to enact scenes you saw in porn, stop trying to bend stiff bodies like an acrobat, stop trying to choke us, there's a reason why porn has so many takes.
Get to know your partner first and if you want to try something new, ask. My worst sexual experiences were the ones were communication was none existent and I thought something popped or snapped from being unexpectedly twisted. Whereas, my best sex was one were my partner took the time to find out what worked for both of us and that led to intense sexual chemistry.
4) THE SEX IS TERRIBLE
Have you ever been in a situation where the foreplay is great and it's the build-up you've been waiting for, he sticks it in and it's just meh. And by meh I mean totally bland and unsatisfying. When women have body count's remorse and don't want to hurt their partner's feelings or want to get sex over with, they'll lie about orgasming.
Again, I recommend finding out what works for your partner and using that to your advantage.
Let me know your thoughts down below and feel free to share your own reasons as to why you've faked it in the bedroom - Mel